The lesson I had to learn – Why I am worthy and how to accept.

You know that feeling when you know the universe is trying to tell you something?

Well I think the universe had to work extra hard – but finally the lesson has been learnt. I am worthy!

As a mum of three, wife of a business owner and a personal stylist, I am constantly giving to others. I know I am not alone in this. In fact, many of my clients are women that decide to invest in themselves when they book a style package. They have not been putting themselves first and have decided it’s time for them. This is a big reason I love what I do as it’s all about women taking time for themselves and gaining self-confidence again through their wardrobes. They deserve to feel like the best possible version of themselves.

Often after a client has been through the styling process, they contact me and tell me that they are receiving lots of new compliments and that they are happily accepting them. They even say that it has changed their life. Many women I meet, are initially unable to accept compliments or see the positives when they look in the mirror. So when I hear this, I am internally air pumping my fist.

But recently, I came to the realisation that I am not capable of accepting from others in the same way. I chat to my clients about gracefully accepting compliments, but here I am struggling to accept my own version of a compliment. This year I have been given gifts of handwritten notes, flowers, tim tams and heartfelt reviews of my business. When I receive a gift, I automatically start to think about how I can give back to that person, rather than enjoying the beautiful thoughtfulness of the gift I have received.

This year I had invaluable opportunities for mentoring with Lauren Di Bartolo, the fearless founder of Australian Style Institute, who taught me that we never stop learning and growing. I felt like the universe also gave me an incredible reminder at the other end of the scale – when someone wants to own your self worth and how destructive than can be, if you allow it.

Some of the biggest and hardest gifts to receive have been in the form of learning and extending myself further than I thought possible. How do you even begin to thank someone for the gift of personal growth? I didn’t think I could.

A few weeks ago I had the amazing opportunity to meet and attend an event run by the Stylish branding queen, Colette Werden. It was a last minute opportunity that was offered to me. I walked into the event and chose my seat, before mingling with the other ladies attending the event. When the event started, I picked up the small gift on my seat and sat down. This small gift ended up being a very big and valuable one. The seat I had decided to sit at announced ‘ You are Worthy ‘. I hadn’t chosen the seat with Bold, magnificent or Brave – but I had chosen Worthy. Why?

I admit that my brain was thinking throughout the event about what this word meant for me personally and also as a Stylist, I was thinking

  1. Am I worthy of success in business? ( whatever that maybe)
  2. Am I worthy of being happy in general and openly showing this to others?
  3. Am I worthy of accepting from others?
Am I worthy? I realised that actually I have been telling myself I am not worthy and probably at times sabotaging my own happiness. I have been telling myself I am not worthy or capable of opportunities that have been presented to me.

The gifts of self-improvement, the gestures of amazing words, chocolates, candles. I was worthy to accept all of these things, because they had been given to me by people that genuinely wanted to gift them to me. Not because they wanted anything in return. Why was I ripping myself off from the joy of the thoughtfulness, while I was busy thinking about how I could repay them.

The big ‘wow’ moment of realisation came last week when I was co-hosting an event. A fellow mum and business owner, who attended the night handed me a silver ring that was engraved with my children’s names and inside was B + L for my husband and I. I couldn’t believe that someone could sit and create such a personal and beautiful piece of jewellery just for me. I hugged her ( twice I think)  and thanked her. I even confided in her that I found it hard to receive gifts and was much more comfortable being the giver.

The next morning, I messaged Dani again and this was what she messaged back :

It is important to receive things – even if it is just a coffee, otherwise you are putting it out to the universe that you are not WORTHY of getting things for free. And you are worthy !! And there was that word……..worthy.

So I need to put it out to the world ( hey that’s what blogging is for, right?) that I am worthy to accept. So, the people that have given me the biggest gifts of all this year ( you totally know who you are ) The gift of personal growth, believing in me and learning things that I never knew was possible. I accept and I will show you my gratitude by growing, giving back and taking action.

I am grateful !

I am worthy !

Thank you

Bernadette x

Honeydew & Violet creates a range of beautiful and unique hand stamped sterling silver jewellery. Classic and timeless style, yet with an organic feel and a vintage inspired edge.

A boutique, bespoke jewellery company created by Sydney based designer, Danielle Tinkler.

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2 Comments
  • Pip
    Posted at 19:43h, 03 November

    Love it.

    • Bernadette Payne
      Posted at 15:51h, 06 November

      Thanks Pip, glad you enjoyed it.